Saturday, December 11, 2010

Rage

Onward I fight
To free my lady MacLean
She was captured
Stolen from me
My rage
Overcomes my sight
Turning the sky
Bloodshot red

Turning every drop of rain
Into a drop of blood
Turning the shadows
Into death
Turning every puddle
Into a pool of blood
Turning the enemy
Into a decapitated corpse
Leaving a trail of blood
In my wake
As I march my armies
Across Scotland
In the year 1509
To where she’s held captive
To the dungeon

Where she’s held prisoner

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

my mind

my mind is numb
slowly turning into nothing
spiraling into blackness
everything i see
is in shades of blue
blending with my mood

my world
monochromatic
hues of the color
i can't escape this feeling
this feeling of hopelessness
of loneliness and desolation

Friday, November 19, 2010

I Can't

I can't
those two words
keep echoing in my head
i wonder what she said after those two words
they torment me
those two words
i can't
her reason as to why we can't date
cut they still give me hope
cause they say she's thought about it
they could turn into two different words
i can

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Misery

The blues return
Like some kind of stalker
Always showing up to remind me
There is no escape
They’ve got a choke hold on me
I keep getting swallowed in misery
It’s my best friend
He won’t leave me be
But now, misery, is all I have
Every day
It feels like the same
Always catching me unaware

Monster

I’m walking down this street
People run and hide
As if they see some kind of monster in me
I see them scatter into their groups
Pointing and quietly whispering about me
Spreading their vile rumors about me
As if I’m some kind of monster
They avoid me like the plague
I guess if they come close to me
Something bad might happen
And they could get sick
As if I’m some kind of disease
I keep walking down that street
Not paying any attention to them

Monday, November 1, 2010

As I'm Sitting

As i'm sitting in this chair
thinking about what i'm going to do
i can't shake away the feeling
this feeling of loneliness
the sadness of that hole in my heart
all that emptiness and pain
it won't go away
like an ominous shadow
it just follows me arond
sucking all the joy and life out of me
like a vampire sucks blood out of its victim

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

the crash

Should have done this
Could have done that
And all this
Would have never happened
It doesn’t matter now
It’s all in hindsight
My headache a dull reminder
Of what happened that day
My car was ruined
Her SUV just fine
The cops came faster
Then a speeding bullet
I wish I could say
It was just a dream
That it never happened
That I’m going to wake up soon
And that this was just a bad dream
But its not it really happened
I was heading from the armory
To go relax in the hot tub
At the Centre
She was coming home
From a long day of work
To be with her husband
It shouldn’t have happened
It was unfair
But like they say
The show must go on
And so must life
Even if we don’t want to
Can I still be the same?
Can I still be caring?
Or even be happy?
Like I was before?
Or will I be different?
Where will I go from here?
I don’t know
If I could ever be that person
The person I used to be
The one I strive to be
The way she looked at me
As if I was some kind of monster
My worlds become shades of blue
No longer full of color
Its like I’m watching
Somebody else live my life
Sucking away all the color
It’s becoming black and white
I still have nightmares
From that day
The way she looked at me
It haunts my dreams
I keep yelling
I’m not a monster

blue

my world is slowly turning blue
colors everywhere
turning into a hue of blue
like being lost at sea
for miles and miles blue
the only color you can see anywhere
so cold, salty and blue
are the waters of the Pacific Ocean
so very blue
maybe i'm the star of a show
and that floodlight
that light of blue
is following me. i can't escape it
or maybe i'm flying in the deep blue
sky, rapidly gaining altitude
a crazy dude with blue
accents in my hair showing
my moods and blues

Monday, August 23, 2010

i see thunder

I hear thunder
and can't help but wonder
where is my pal lightning
so powerful and so frightening
I call forth wind
strong enough to make metal bend
I bring forth rain
so gentle, now for the pain
I summon hail
for without you, I'd surely fail
go forth! Create chaos and destruction
get rid of that obstruction
for I need a clear mind and path
everybody's gunna feel my wrath
as I storm to a place of gloom
unfortunately its my room

i am anger

i am anger
i am rage
a double sided dagger
will get me outta this cage
they locked me away
but their control is fading away
so i shall be free
soon, so wonderfully soon
i shall break free
i will break out like a typhoon
i will be destructive and all powerful
creating chaos and wreaking havoc
it shall be very beautiful
something says '' let it rock''
its time for the show to begin
as the adrenalin rushes
i step out onto the stage with a grin
the crowd goes wild and then shushes
my words driving them insane
as my plan is unfurled
like pinky and the brain
i too shall take over the world

i am misery

i am misery
it's all i've ever known
why can't everybody believe me
my mind is blown
i'm falling
falling still falling
it's so cold
i hear somebody barking
out commands, he's bold
capable of showing
his feelings but why doesn't he?
is it cause he's scared?
maybe its cause they won't leave him be?
but i bet if he dared
to take a chance
and ask her
if she wants to dance
she might say
''I'd love to kind sir''
and, holding hands they'd walk away
but i doubt that
she'd prolly laugh
and call him a creap
but it gave misery a good laugh
cause deep down, so very deep
inside. Misery will always be me
what else can i be?

my world

my world, twirling
my mind, spinning
out of control
nothing comes with out a toll
everything does, even life
all it takes to end it is a knife
we are in control
we choose the toll
how little or how great
we choose out own fate
it isn't over
so come on over
bring with you your happyness
leave behind all your sadness
your andger and all your sorrow
for it shall be gone tomorrow
bring love and compassion
don't forget your passion
but more importantly yourself
cause your in control of yourself
your fate and your entire life
so forget about the knife
because you don't need it
and will never use it

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Fear Journal

WARNING! SOME OBSCENE LANGUAGE! NOT FOR THOSE WITH SENSITIVE MINDS!!

What do I fear?
Simple question
Complex answer

I fear many things,
Death, change getting older,
These are the fears everybody fears.
Need I name more?

I fear rejection.
What about boredom?
There’s a saying about boredom,
I just can’t quite put my hands on it.

Everyone fears the dark
- At some point in their lives -
Some get over it,
Others don’t.

Tell me a childhood fear you say?
I was afraid of more things then I care to count.
I lived in constant fear in those days.

You see? I was very small,
But not quite so small
I was tall but also very skinny

I bet I could’ve put supermodels to shame
It was because of that – how skinny I was
That made others think I was extremely week
– Some do even now –

I feared all the kids that picked on me
All the soon-to-be jocks and preps
Basically all the popular kids

It’s funny I used to want to be like them,
But now? They disgust me.
You can tell they’re city kids
They take things for granted
They bitch and whine like a spoiled little brat
Especially when it comes to work.
– Hard work in particular. –
They think it’s fine,
Almost like it’s their divine right
To get what they want.
They don’t think about
How their actions or what they say,
Affects others, like me.
After all why should they?
They’re greedy, self-centered, and I must say
They’re like the stereotypical jock,
They don’t think before they react.

I once feared going up or down stairs
– Especially at night–
Due to what some might
Call a hallucination
Others a supernatural acquaintance
I dare not go into the details,
Else, I be called a lunatic.

Right now,
What I fear is,
Going to,
Basic training,
This summer.

“A hero of war
Yeah that’s what I’ll be
And when I come home
They’ll be damn proud of me
I’ll carry this flag
To the grave if I must
Because it’s a flag that I love
And a flag that I trust

I kicked in the door
I yelled my commands
The children, they cried
But I got my man
We took him away
A bag over his face
From his family and friends

They took off his clothes
They pissed in his hands
I told them to stop
But then I joined in

We beat him with guns
And batons not just once
But again and again” (Hero of War by: Rise Against, album title: Appeal To Reason)